:02:01
He was an iguana.
:02:04
But, you know,
he loved this poem.
:02:10
JACK: Excuse me, Mr. Brackett.
:02:13
Mr. Brackett.
:02:15
HOWARD: Jack.
:02:16
It's here.
:02:18
From Indiana State.
:02:20
And? Hey, Joe.
:02:21
Will you open it?
lt'll make it easier.
:02:23
What if I...
I mean, I'm not gonna get in.
:02:26
I bet it says,
"Nice try, you moron.
:02:29
"You loser, get out of here."
:02:31
That's not quite the way
they put it.
:02:35
Yes! You're in!
Full scholarship!
:02:37
- Yes?
- Way to go!
:02:40
Yes!
:02:41
[Hushed conversations]
:02:44
MIKE: Shh, shh, shh.
:02:48
HOWARD: Gentlemen,
Are we having a practice?
:02:51
We can't, you know.
:02:53
It's our coach.
:02:55
He's getting married this week.
:02:57
Yes, that's correct.
:03:00
And he's drunk.
:03:04
I'm drunk?
:03:05
Pretty soon!
:03:14
You guys!
:03:18
Congratulations, Mr. Brackett!
:03:29
BERNIECE: You're so beautiful.
:03:31
EMILY: Howard?
:03:33
HOWARD: You look exquisite.
:03:35
I wish my folks were still here.
:03:37
They never thought I'd marry.
:03:41
We're your family now, dear.
:03:43
I'm not just Howard's mom.
:03:44
I'm yours.
:03:45
HOWARD: Beware.
:03:47
WOMAN: When you walked in...
:03:48
I almost died.
:03:49
I didn't recognize you.
:03:51
BERNIECE: She's worked hard.
:03:52
HOWARD: Isn't she a knockout?
:03:53
EMILY: I was fat my whole life.
:03:55
I was not going to waddle...
:03:56
down that aisle.
:03:57
When I saw...
:03:59
Richard's Simmons' infomercial...