:16:03
Is there something
you want to tell us?
:16:05
Something about the wedding?
:16:07
I'm not gay.
:16:09
Ohh. Of course not.
:16:11
EMILY: No! No, no.
:16:13
FRANK: My son's not gay.
:16:14
- No way!
- No how!
:16:16
FRANK: No dice!
:16:17
- No, ma'am.
- No, sir!
:16:18
BERNIECE: But that boy on TV...
:16:21
HOWARD: I don't know
what that was about.
:16:23
I am outraged! I may sue!
:16:25
EMILY: That's right.
That's a good idea.
:16:27
FRANK: Get Johnnie Cochran,
not that woman.
:16:30
HOWARD: Good idea.
:16:31
Remember, he's been
in Hollywood a long time.
:16:33
He may be under the influence
of something.
:16:36
He may have joined a cult.
:16:37
BERNIECE: Oh, my lord.
:16:39
That little zombie.
:16:40
His family was...
I hate to say this...
:16:43
but when they lived here,
they were not active in the PTA.
:16:47
He used to mow our lawn.
Never again.
:16:51
BERNIECE: Howard,
we want you to know...
:16:54
you're our son,
and we'll always love you...
:16:57
gay, straight, red, green...
:16:59
if you rob a bank,
if you kill someone.
:17:01
If you get drunk, climb a tower,
and take out the town.
:17:05
BERNIECE:
As long as you get married.
:17:08
I need that wedding.
:17:09
I need some beauty, music,
and place cards before I die.
:17:13
It's like heroin.
:17:15
Do you hear me?
:17:18
Hmm?
:17:23
Emily, can we give you a lift?
:17:26
Oh.
:17:28
Will you be all right?
:17:30
Of course.
:17:31
I'm fine.
:17:33
We're getting married.
:17:35
I love you.
:17:41
HOWARD: Good night.
:17:45
[Telephone rings]
:17:48
Hello.
:17:49
No, I'm not.
:17:59
[Village People singing]
Hey, hey.