:03:02
Lloyd Abbott wasn't the richest man
in town, but it seemed like he was...
:03:06
...because he had three beautiful
daughters: Alice, Eleanor and Pamela.
:03:10
Twice a year, you'd see the big tent
go up on their tennis court...
:03:14
...and everyone could see that one of
the Abbott girls was having a birthday...
:03:18
...or graduating
or going away to college.
:03:20
- Here we go. Another party.
- Shut up.
:03:23
Every time an Abbott girl gets her period,
there's a party.
:03:26
Kotex parties, Kotex party hats...
:03:36
OLDER DOUG:
My brother and I were born strangers.
:03:39
Same last name, same address...
:03:42
...but everything else about us
was different.
:03:44
Back then, Jacey was
a complete mystery to me.
:03:47
And I was a constant source
of embarrassment to him.
:03:52
[DOUG HUMS "HEARTBREAK HOTEL"]
:04:17
Oh, Christ.
:04:19
JACEY:
Mom!
:04:21
Mom!
:04:25
[HUMS "HEARTBREAK HOTEL"]
:04:28
JACEY: Mom, he has to wash that off.
- Why?
:04:33
You can't let him go to the party
until he does.
:04:35
It'll look worse if I wash it.
It's India ink. It'll turn gray.
:04:39
You look like a clown! He looks
like a clown and he doesn't know it.
:04:43
- I thought you weren't even going.
- I changed my mind.
:04:47
Doug, you do understand that you may
be the only person at this party...
:04:50
...with artificial sideburns?
- Yeah?
:04:53
You do understand that
they don't look real?
:04:56
Yeah.
:04:57
That they look really as if
you'd drawn them on?