1:44:03
My father, I knew him as Dad.
He was my fucking dad...
1:44:08
...but he weren't like
other kids' dads, you know?
1:44:11
It was as if the word itself
was enough...
1:44:16
...and it ain't.
1:44:27
-That ain't when he died though, is it?
-No.
1:44:31
He lived another 1 0 years,
slippery cunt.
1:44:33
He died one afternoon
in that fucking armchair. About right.
1:44:39
I went around to see him when
he was plotted up at me mother's.
1:44:43
-Hatcham Road?
-Yeah.
1:44:44
He was upstairs in that
front bedroom. Laid out.
1:44:47
-Free.
-Yeah. Yeah.
1:44:49
I've gone up there, gone in.
1:44:53
I'm sitting on the bed looking at him.
He's laying there like:
1:44:57
Mullered.
1:45:03
And it was like he'd shrunk,
you know? He was a big man.
1:45:06
-He was a lump.
-You should know.
1:45:08
You got enough clumps off the cunt.
1:45:13
And I just touched him, you know?
1:45:17
He was fucking freezing cold.
It frightened the life out of me.
1:45:25
I was looking at him, you know? I--
1:45:30
For the first time in my life,
I talked to him.
1:45:35
I said:
1:45:40
"Why didn't you ever love me?"