Small Soldiers

long recognized
as the worldwide leader...

in high tech weaponry,
is now reaching even higher.

Under the leadership
of C.E.O. Gil Mars,

Globotech engineers
are blazing the trail...

into tomorrow's
most exciting market sector,

introducing advanced
battlefield technology...

into consumer products
for the whole family.

For the first time,
you and yours will enjoy...

the same high- quality standards
as demanded...

by the U.S. Defense Department
at private sector prices.

Globotech... turning swords
into plowshares for you and your family.

He's here.
He's early.

He's not supposed
to be here yet.

He said...

Slamfist Ocula.
Good. Check.

- [ Squeaks ]
- [ Whispering ] Chickens.

- Hey.
- Hey. Let me help you with these.

Pretty exciting,
huh ?

I don't know. I think it kinda...
It's kinda sad. I mean...

You know, Heartland Toys
has a long tradition...

of bringing joy
to kids, you know ?

Gil Mars isn't going
to care about any of that.

He's just going
to care about profits.

- I think it sucks.
- Welcome to Earth, Irwin.

You may not be familiar
with our customs,

but this is pretty much the way
things work down here in the real world.

Yeah, well,
the real world sucks.

It does have its perks.
I'm Ms. Kegel,

executive assistant
to Mr. Mars.

Let me be the first to welcome you
to the Globotech family.

- Okay.
- Just as he's done with his computer,

telecommunications, munitions,

chemical and food divisions,
Mr. Mars intends to bring
his own personal touch
to Heartland Play Systems.

Well, that's good.

[ Sighs ]

All right.