:05:01
for action.
:05:10
The world's most awesome,
high tech fighting force...
:05:13
is ready to battle
for the next millennium.
:05:16
- Chip Hazard, reporting for duty !
- Hey, w- w- wait a minute !
:05:19
- Hold on. Hold on. Wait.
- These are the greatest toys
I've ever had !
:05:23
- Can they... Can they really do that ?
- Do what ?
:05:25
- The thing where he punches
his way out of the box.
- No.
:05:28
I didn't think so.
:05:30
There's a disclaimer. I mean,
legal says we're completely covered.
:05:34
- You know what I'm sick of ?
- [ TV Continues, Indistinct ]
:05:36
I'm sick of commercials
that show four- by- four trucks...
:05:38
popping up to the top
of Mt. Rushmore...
:05:40
and parking on top
of Abraham Lincoln's head.
:05:42
Okay ? I'm sick of shampoo commercials
that try to convince women...
:05:44
they can look like Claudia Schiffer
after one cycle of rinse and repeat.
:05:48
What if these toys
actually could talk ?
:05:50
What if they could walk ?
:05:52
- What if they could actually kick ass ?
- Nick Nitro !
:05:55
I'm talking about toys
that are so smart,
:05:57
when kids play with 'em,
they play back.
:05:59
Toys in short,
gentlemen,
:06:01
that actually do what
they do in the commercials.
:06:03
Well, that's
an interesting idea.
:06:06
Forget about this
batteries- not- included crap.
:06:07
We're gonna stick in a lifetime
Globotech lithium cell.
:06:10
Keep these things
running forever.
:06:12
- That'll piss off the guys at Eveready.
- Yeah.
:06:15
Hey, how's this for a slogan:
The Commando Elite.
Anything else is just a toy.
:06:18
Everything else
is just a toy.
:06:21
Th- Th- That's
good too.
:06:23
- Sure.
- Uh, sir ?
:06:25
Uh, you know, that kind
of computing power...
:06:27
- doesn't really seem
feasible right now, and, and...
- Irwin. Irwin.
:06:30
We're members of the Globotech family.
Surely we can hunt down the technology.
:06:33
We can make missiles that can
hunt down one unlucky bastard...
:06:35
7,000 miles away and stick
a nuclear warhead right up his ass.
:06:38
I don't think we're going to
have a problem with this.
:06:40
Now, these guys are soldiers, right ?
And what do soldiers need ?
:06:42
- Hats ?
- Cam- Cam- Camouflage ?
:06:45
- Ms. Kegel ?
- Enemies, sir.
:06:48
Enemies. See, these hideous,
ugly freaks... These guys are the enemy.
:06:51
And our guys have to seek 'em out
and vaporize 'em.
:06:55
Well, no, they're not...
:06:57
Sir ? Um, don't you think
that's a bit violent ?