American Beauty

I'm Carolyn Burnham.

This living room
is very dramatic.

Wait till you see
the native stone fireplace!

A simple cream could
really lighten things up.
You could even put in a skylight.

Well, why don't we
go into the kitchen?

It's a dream come true
for any cook.

Just filled
with positive energy, huh?

And you'll be surprised
how much a ceiling fan can
cut down on your energy costs.

You know. you could have some fun
backyard get-togethers out here.

The ad said this pool was lagoon-like.
There's nothing lagoon-like about it.

Except for maybe the bugs.
There aren't even any plants out here.

What do you call this?
Is this not a plant?

If you have a problem with the plants, I
can always call my landscape architect.

- Solved.
- I mean, I think "lagoon,"
I think waterfall, tropical.

This is a cement hole.
I have some tiki torches
in the garage.

[ Crying ]
Shut up! Stop it!
You weak-- You baby!

Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!

[ Gasping ]