Dick

1:22:01

Watergate, my ass!

1:22:03

They'll crucify me if they hear this.

1:22:06

Checkers, shut up!

1:22:08

Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!

1:22:11

Erase this shit.

1:22:17

What's that smell?

1:22:21

Hello Dollies!

1:22:23

Where'd you get the recipe?
It was stolen.

1:22:25

It's on the label
of every can, lamebrain.

1:22:29

Except...

1:22:30

...for one special Larry Jobs addition.

1:22:36

I keep them mixed up with the walnuts.

1:22:41

You said these were
just walnut leaves.

1:22:44

I lied.

1:22:46

But the President ate those.

1:22:48

Right, your pal, Tricky Dick.

1:22:50

No, really.

1:22:55

Maybe that's why he's so paranoid.

1:23:04

It's happening.

1:23:05

-What?
-Come on.

1:23:10

Throughout the long and difficult
period of Watergate...

1:23:14

...l have felt it was my duty
to persevere...

1:23:18

... to make every possible effort
to complete the term of office...

1:23:21

... to which you elected me.

1:23:24

But as President...

1:23:26

...l must put the interest
of America first.

1:23:31

Therefore...

1:23:33

...l shall resign the Presidency...

1:23:36

... effective at noon tomorrow.

1:23:39

Vice President Ford will be
sworn in at that hour...

1:23:42

-It's gonna be different now.
-... in this office.

1:23:46

They'll never lie to us again.

1:23:47

They'll never lie to us again.