:11:00
# She good-looking
got a mojo cooking
:11:03
# Yeah, wouldn't give me
the time of day
:11:06
# But if my occupation
was stars and constellations
:11:09
# We could get together
in the milky Way
:11:13
# And everybody wanna know somebody
:11:16
# Everyone wants to drop your name
:11:19
# You need no reservation
no special invitation
:11:22
# No college education
if you've got fortune and fame... #
:11:33
Oh, yeah! Whoo-hoo!
:11:36
I should really warn you,
:11:38
it's been known to affect
your decision-making abilities
:11:42
and lower your inhibitions.
:11:44
Good. That's the plan.
:11:47
No, that-that's...
Yes, that is the plan.
:11:50
- You bring cash?
- Why?
:11:52
- We've got chicks for sale.
- What?
:11:55
# Hey, now I'm snappy
got my mojo... #
:11:59
Trust me. I've been goin'
to this school seven years
:12:03
and I know the key
to a well-rounded college education
:12:06
is experimentation.
:12:10
Let me show you.
:12:13
This is an auction. Remember...
:12:15
you are not buying the girl,
:12:17
only her company, and sale does not
constitute sexual relations.
:12:21
(Groaning)
:12:23
(EL) I know. Believe me, I've tried.
:12:25
Without further ado,
let's introduce our first...person.
:12:29
- Laura!
- (Applause)
:12:32
Laura's from Long lsland.
:12:34
She likes the outdoors
and loves seafood.
:12:37
- OK, let's start the bidding at $5!
- $3.50!
:12:41
Good God, moneybags,
she's not a Happy meal.
:12:44
(Laughter)
:12:46
- $5.
- OK, we've got five. Do I hear 10?
:12:49
- 10 bucks.
- (Auctioneer calling)
:12:52
Who's got 15 bucks
for a lovely evening with Laura?!
:12:56
OK, we got 15. Who can beat 15?
Going once, going twice...