This should be your next screenplay.
How many times did you bone?
A box worth.
Three times?
You know I only buy twelve-packs.
-These chicks sound perfect.
-Not exactly perfect.

The next morning,
they stole my TV.
-They what?
-They fucking stole my set.

Do you think that was
their intention from the start?

-I’m sure of it.

I bet they double team
so they can carry out more shit.

It’s an ingenious operation,
if you think about it.

Don't you feel like they fucked you,
they got the better of you?

They fucked me all right,
in a way I’ll never forget.

It was worth a TV. They come back,
I’ll throw them the toaster.

This is some fucked up shit.
Both you guys are crazy.
That never happens to me.

That's 'cause nothing
ever happens to you.

Yeah, what, did you score?
Or did you spend another
weekend tugging root?

Fuck you, man. I had multiple
ladies on my tip.

Multiple, my ass.
Better your ass than Brad's.
I was at Strokes
with my five knucklehead friends.
There were seven fine honeys
at my disposal.

Place was so ripe, I had my pick.
Always talking a big game.
No, seriously, they were all
sitting there waiting.

All I had to do was
go in for the kill.

So I did.
Her name...
was Keri.
The flyest girl at the bar.
Dude, you got to stop
whacking it so much.

Making up chick's names
while you're feeding the geese.

Fuck you.
She's as real as the
scrambled eggs on that plate.

Last week her name was Nivea,
the week before it was Neutrogena.
Nivea was a nice French girl
I met in the park.

Fuck that. If you didn't score,
just say it.

You don't believe me,
I don't give a shit.

Say it.
All I want to know is,
have we found a prospect yet?

-A prospect?
-For what?

You know, the plan.
The triple team some chick plan.