My First Mister
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:08:00
- Brisket's all ready.
- Vintage tvrocks.

:08:03
What i wouldn't give to live
with the partridge family.

:08:07
I think shirley
would really get me.

:08:10
I like chocolate.
:08:11
- It's dark and warm.
- Come here, baby.

:08:14
Like what i imagine
a hug would be like.

:08:16
- Doesn't sound friendly to me.
- Wanna look like a dope, go ahead.

:08:19
- Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
- Yeah! Yeah!

:08:23
I'll meet you at the table.
:08:27
She's coming.
Takes her a while, that's all.

:08:30
Takes her a while.
:08:37
Employment...
:08:39
sucks.
:08:41
But i just need enough cash
to get my own place.

:08:45
I need help, someone.
:08:48
Hello!
:08:55
Oh, thank god!
:08:57
I got these pants caught
on my earring. Bad pain.

:09:01
Bad pain.
:09:02
All right.
:09:04
Do you have one?
:09:05
No, not there.
:09:07
You should get one.
It makes sex amazing.

:09:11
You have one here?
:09:14
No, not there either.
:09:16
You don't know
what you're missing.

:09:18
Well, i'm not the one
with a pair of dead man's pants...

:09:21
hanging from my labia.
:09:25
"It makes sex amazing. Ow!"
:09:29
Maybe i should get
some more piercings.

:09:32
I'm not busy.
:09:34
What is sex anyway?
:09:37
If memory serves...
:09:39
technically
i'm still a virgin.

:09:42
There was this one day
in third grade...

:09:45
when matthew kingsley came over
and we played doctor.

:09:49
He confused my vagina
with my anus...

:09:51
and took my temperature
with a fire-engine red crayon.

:09:55
From then on,
whenever i'd hear a siren...

:09:58
i'd giggle.

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