:04:01
There"s this guy, Billy Schnar,
he"s really cute.
:04:04
Billy Schnar?
:04:05
We"re the smartest in class.
You know who he likes? Guess!
:04:09
-Who?
-Melissa Thomas, you know her?
:04:13
The one with braces and ugly red hair.
:04:16
She thought Israel was in Europe.
You know why he likes her? Guess!
:04:21
-Because she"s stupid.
-No, because she"s got boobs!
:04:25
Or it looks like she does,
but she doesn"t. She wears a bra...
:04:29
...which squishes her fat together...
:04:32
...and makes her look like
she has big boobs.
:04:35
Pop, l"m gonna die
if I don"t marry Billy Schnar.
:04:39
l"m gonna die all because
Melissa has boobs?
:04:43
That"s just way too tragic,
even for Shakespeare.
:04:46
Okay, Pop, so that"s why for
Christmas, l"d like a bra.
:04:52
To enhance what I got,
which is more than Melissa.
:04:56
-You"re too young.
-Pop, you can"t negotiate my boobs.
:05:00
Too young or not, l"ve got them.
l"m a woman.
:05:04
-It"s hard to see through my clothes.
-Quiet!
:05:07
The answer is no.
:05:17
Keep your mind on books, not boys.
:05:20
This is why therapists are wealthy.:
moments like this.
:05:24
Why didn't he just get her the bra?
/t's certainly cheaper than a bicycle.
:05:30
Parents and the damage they can do.
:05:33
Sometimes, it's endless.
:05:36
But she survived.
y ou know what they say.:
:05:40
"That which doesn't kill you,
makes you want to die. "
:05:44
/f she was Southern,
she'd have turned life into a song.
:05:50
Since she's from Connecticut,
she turned it into a memoir.
:05:54
Someone wants to publish it,
if she clears one hurdle.
:05:57
So she called me for help.