:55:02
Because you threw a loaf of bread
at a duck's head and killed it, basically.
:55:10
Excuse me? What's this about a duck?
:55:13
Are we having duck? Delicious!
:55:17
Of course we were not having duck.
:55:19
Instead we had nut loaf with parsnip gravy.
:55:24
As I sat there, I had a strange feeling.
:55:27
I was enjoying myself.
:55:30
I'd never really enjoyed Christmas before.
:55:33
My mother used to make me sing
Santa's Super Sleigh...
:55:35
...in front of my inebriated uncles and aunts...
:55:37
...just to get at my dad, I think.
:55:40
But Christmas at Marcus',
I'm ashamed to say it, gave me...
:55:44
...a warm, fuzzy feeling.
:55:46
I held that feeling responsible
for the strange events that followed.
:55:53
First of all, Marcus got a crush on a girl.
:55:55
Hello.
Piss off.
:55:59
And then, even stranger, so did I.
:56:04
It was all Marcus' fault, really...
:56:06
...because once you open your door
to one person, anyone can come in.
:56:11
On New Year's Eve, I met Rachel.
:56:13
She was interesting, smart and attractive.
:56:15
And for about five minutes,
I had her convinced that I was, too.
:56:19
...things like political events.
:56:21
Okay.
:56:22
You in television?
:56:24
Am I in television? No.
:56:27
-Everyone else is in television.
-Yeah.
:56:29
I watch television.
:56:30
Right, right.
So you're more in front of it than in it.
:56:33
-In it, yeah.
-Yes, I get it, yeah.
:56:35
It was torture.
:56:37
For five minutes I realized what life would be like
if I were, in any way, interesting.
:56:41
If I had anything to say for myself,
if I did anything.
:56:45
But I didn't do anything.
:56:47
And in about 30 seconds she'd know
and she'd be gone like a shot.
:56:51
So what do you do?
:56:55
I'm sort of taking a bit of time off at the moment.
:56:59
-Sounds good, yeah.
-Yeah.