:54:01
- You're my muse. You are.
- I love being your muse.
:54:06
I'm so happy about that.
:54:10
I'm picking up an order for Kaufman.
:54:30
- Valerie.
- Hi, Charlie.
:54:32
It's quite a coincidence
bumping into you.
:54:34
I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
I was away last week.
:54:36
- That's okay.
- I meant to because...
:54:38
...things are going really well now,
and I wanted you to know.
:54:41
Well, that's great.
I'm anxious to see something.
:54:43
You should sit down because
I'm here with Susan right now.
:54:46
And she's dying to meet you,
so it's funny bumping into you.
:54:48
- Have a seat.
- Susan Orlean is here?
:54:50
Yeah, she's here in town for a reading
or something. She's just on the phone.
:54:56
Sit down. Have a seat.
She's dying to meet you.
:55:00
Well, I should probably go, because...
:55:04
Well, I'd love to meet her too...
:55:05
...but I don't want to be beholden.
And, well...
:55:09
Because once you meet somebody
that you've been writing about...
:55:11
...it becomes very hard to separate.
So...
:55:14
Well, okay, I'll speak to you soon.
And I'm almost done.
:55:17
I'm almost done.
:55:18
And tell Susan that I would
love to meet with her at a future date.
:55:21
- As she sees fit.
- Okay.
:55:25
Who am I kidding?
This is not Susan Orlean's story.
:55:28
I have no connection with her.
I can't even meet her.
:55:30
I have no understanding of anything
but my own panic and self-loathing...
:55:33
...and pathetic, little existence.
:55:35
The only thing I'm actually qualified to
write about is myself and my own self...
:55:39
We open on Charlie Kaufman.
:55:41
Fat, old, bald, repulsive, sitting in
a Hollywood restaurant...
:55:45
...across from Valerie Thomas,
a lovely, statuesque film executive.
:55:50
Kaufman, trying to get
a writing assignment...
:55:52
...wanting to impress her,
sweats profusely.
:55:59
Fat, bald Kaufman paces furiously
in his bedroom.