Buying the Cow

- I just wish it were simpler.
- Simpler?

I'm offering you a job in New York
doing what you love doing.

I know. And it's a dream come true.
Dreams don't come true very often.
Maybe it's not supposed to be simple.
Bellissimo. Magnifico.
Mike, it's me. Where you been, man?
I haven't heard from you since
you met your true Jove.

I've reaJJy got to taJk to you.
So why don't you just pick up the phone
and give me a caJJ between orgasms, okay?

From the makers of the hit videos,
Are You Gay? ...

...and So You Think You're Gay...
...United HomosexuaJ Headquarters

...Just How Gay Are You?
HeJJo. I'm Tim Chadway...
...President of United HomosexuaJ

My buddies caJJ me Timbo.
You know, Jike miJJions of Americans...
:48:42're probabJy wondering just
how gay are you?

That's an important question.
But, come on,
the answer is pretty obvious, isn't it?

Face it, chief.
If you're watching me now,
you are pretty damn gay.

But that's okay.
Because, you see,
here at the Headquarters...