:04:00
while you're singing your holiday tunes
:04:03
i'm acting like the town buffoon
:04:07
whipping out my big, white, scary moon
:04:11
and blowing a beef your way
:04:14
i hate folks who think reindeer are cute
:04:18
to me they're just something to shoot
:04:21
i hate love
:04:23
i hate you
:04:25
i hate me
:04:29
well, i'm a snowmobile-stealing
:04:31
no 'tis-the-season-feeling kind of guy
:04:36
this time of year sucks
so i take my nunchaks
:04:40
and make sure every snowman dies
:04:44
believing in santa's all wrong
:04:48
and chanukah's eight nights too long
:04:51
i hate love
:04:52
i hate you
:04:54
i hate me
:04:56
coming through.
:04:57
I hate love
:04:59
i hate you
:05:00
i hate me
:05:02
davey stone, you're nothing
but a delinquent!
:05:06
Stone, what the heck are we
going to do with you?
:05:09
I've sent you to reform school, the drunk
tank, the local psychiatric ward.
:05:13
Not one of those places has made you
change an ounce for the better.
:05:17
You used to be a good kid...
:05:18
...playing ball for the jewish community
center, with the best shot ever seen.
:05:23
Your honor, i still got a pretty good
jump shot. Let me show you.
:05:30
I'd hit a 3-pointer, but i'd
have to drop my pants...
:05:33
...and pop a thumb up my boo-boo.
:05:35
You leave me no choice. I'll really
have to crack down hard this time.
:05:40
Your honor, if it pleases the court,
i'd like to interject for a moment.
:05:45
What the hell was that? Did anybody
hear a parakeet, or am i going crazy?
:05:49
No, mr. Chang. It's me, whitey duvall.
:05:52
And a happy first night of chanukah
to you.
:05:55
I'm not jewish.
:05:57
Neither am i, but that don't stop me
from enjoying a holiday.