Kissing Jessica Stein
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:11:14
- You're really gonna do this?.
- I've decided.

:11:17
You've decided, orwas it that article
in New York Magazine last month?.

:11:21
- I've decided.
- Mm-hmm.

:11:23
I just think it's time,
you know?.

:11:26
- It's the one thing
I haven't experienced.
- Ofrcourse it's time, sweetie.

:11:29
You go on with your frisky self,
and don't let Mr. Fuddy-Duddy
piss on your parade.

:11:33
- Thankyou.
- Mar?.

:11:35
- Mm-hmm?.
- What is the problem?.
She is trying new things.

:11:38
Sure. Today,
sexual preference.

:11:41
- Tomorrow, Henna tattoos.
- Okay.

:11:43
So, let's see.
OscarWilde is too flip.

:11:46
Emily Dickinson is too trite.
It has to be just so.

:11:50
Maybe George Eliot.
:11:52
- Why do I have to have a quote again?.
- Well, let's see.

:11:55
If it's brainy enough, it'll weed out
the real unwashed masses.

:11:58
Andifrit's well chosen,
you come across as someone...

:12:01
who understands the plight
ofyour prospective partner--
the plight of humanity.

:12:06
And by couching that understanding
in the words ofra great writer,

:12:08
you appear sophisticated,
but earnest.

:12:12
- Grounded, but hopeful.
- Oh, my God!

:12:13
Sweetie, you're gonna have more pussy
than you know what to do with.

:12:17
- Here, take a look.
- Rilke?.

:12:20
Rilke's very profound.
Here.

:12:22
So the first thing you wanna do is say,
"For friendship or more."

:12:26
Wait. Why?.
:12:28
Because then you have access to
all the bi-curious straight girls.

:12:31
Straight girls?
But Bas--

:12:33
Trust me.
Virgin flesh?. Mangia.

:12:37
Bring that.
Let's go.

:12:39
"Professional E-E, U-W-S,
:12:41
V-G-L, N-S, D-W-M,
seeking same."

:12:47
- What could that mean?.
- I'm not reallyversed
in single scene acronyms, so--

:12:52
- Oh. Listen to this one.
This guy used a quote.
- That is so cheesy.

:12:56
"It is not inertia alone
that is responsible...

:12:58
"for human relationships
repeating themselves.


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