:44:03
the dream my father had promised me
before I could even imagine its existence.
:44:10
I have been happy for times,
little times, since he died...
:44:15
but never at peace.
:44:18
Not until I looked at your face...
:44:21
and saw the universe in order behind it.
:44:24
Nicholas...
:44:27
I feel you know what it's like
to be without happiness...
:44:33
but do you know what it's like
to be afraid of it?
:44:36
To see the world...
:44:38
as so conniving, you cannot take pleasure
in the appearance of something good...
:44:44
because you suspect...
:44:48
it is only a painted drop
behind which other troubles lie.
:44:53
That has been my life.
:44:56
Every good thing has been a trick.
:45:01
Until you.
:45:05
Yet I am afraid to take your hand.
:45:09
What if you cannot or will not...
:45:12
save me?
:45:14
I can bear to be maltreated
by the greedy or the weak...
:45:19
but to be let down...
:45:22
- By an angel...
- I am not an angel.
:45:26
I live as far from that lofty perch as any man.
:45:29
My temper alone, my impatience...
:45:32
Perhaps I should not list all my faults,
in case I am too persuasive.
:45:36
You are the one
who is so admirably able and strong.
:45:49
I am tired of being strong.
:45:53
As am I.
:45:55
Weakness is tiring,
but strength is exhausting.