1:20:02
and Jesse told me
that he wanted to plead guilty.
1:20:05
In 1988, there was no way
that a jury in Nassau County
1:20:10
who had been reading
the newspaper headlines
1:20:12
in "Newsday" for over a year
1:20:14
those people were never
going to listen
1:20:16
to anything
the defense had to say
1:20:19
and I was absolutely
terrified
1:20:21
of going to prison
for 100 years.
1:20:24
Jesse had always
maintained his innocence.
1:20:27
I don't work out deals
for people who are innocent.
1:20:30
And my first reaction was,
"I'm not gonna do it.
1:20:34
You're not guilty,
you're not pleading guilty. "
1:20:37
And at that point,
he told me that
1:20:40
"I have something to tell you. "
1:20:43
And with tears rolling down
his eyes, literally
1:20:47
he told me that he was abused by
his father growing up
1:20:53
and that while he never enjoyed
the sexual part of that
1:20:57
he did enjoy the attention
his father gave him
1:20:59
and being with his father
1:21:02
and that not everything
he had said
1:21:07
about nothing happened
was true.
1:21:10
Peter Panaro
was personally convinced
1:21:13
that my father
had sexually abused me
1:21:15
and nothing I could say
1:21:17
could dissuade Peter
from this notion.
1:21:19
Jesse felt that
if Judge Boklan knew
1:21:24
that he also was a victim
of his father
1:21:28
that she might consider
the plea negotiations
1:21:32
in a more favorable way.
1:21:35
He came up with this strategy.
1:21:37
It was Peter Panaro's
fictionalized story
1:21:39
that he fed to me
1:21:41
and said, "If you say this,
it's gonna look good for you. "
1:21:44
I told him
I wouldn't do it.
1:21:45
I told him, "Jesse, when you
plead guilty in open court
1:21:49
you're gonna have to admit
1:21:50
to this type
of anal sodomy 14 times.
1:21:54
And I'm not gonna
let you do that
1:21:56
unless you can admit it. "
1:21:58
He looked me
right in the eye