Tell me what you see.
(EDDIE): It's you, ain't it? John. A bloke.
- No.
- An ordinary everyday bloke.

- Now what do you see?
- Me.

- It's Eddie.
- It's Eddie, John.

- A geezer.
- You're looking, but not seeing.

Not a bloke, not a geezer, not one of the lads.
Know what I see? Bill.
- It's what we are.
- No, Trevor, it's not.

He's got a point, Sarge.
We are supposed to be Shadwell.

Then it's bobble hats and rattles
All round then, isn't it?

Who's this?
It's a dead ringer for Mr Magoo.
(JOHN): Who scored the own goal
that ended our chances of promotion?

- (TREVOR): Dempsey.
- (EDDIE): A right corker.

He flights it back to the goalkeeper,
to Clark in goal, but he's in the sun.

Clark sees fuck all. The ball bounces
once over his head and into the goal.

Nolan sticks Dempsey
straight on the transfer list.

Bournemouth had him. No, Portsmouth. 50,000.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Next season we draw Portsmouth
in the Zenith Cup. No, Simod.

- And who scores against us?
- Bobby fucking Dempsey!

Brilliant ruck with Pompey. They
jumped in the river rather than face us.

I've got one. What's the biggest
post-war attendance at The Kennel?

- Man U, League Cup quarterfinal. 27,000.
- No.

- It's a trick question, then.
- Rod Stewart, Now Year's Eve, 1980.

- More than 30,000 paying customers.
- Smart-arse!

- Anyone know where we're going?
- This is John's patch.

- Never said you were Shadwell.
- Was milked here.

My gran lived here.
If you visited her on Saturdays,
you could hear the Shadwell roar.

- Closest I've come.
- Here's one.

Which team knocked Arsenal out of
the FA Cup 1974-75?

- Having a laugh, ain't you?
- Bolger in goal.

- Tell him Trevor.
- Dobson, Boniface, Fisk, Hirst,

Austin, Stonebridge, Whitfield, Kurtz.