1:23:03
Well, for 23 years,
I've been carrying a weight.
1:23:07
And for 23 years, I never knew
how I could possibly release it.
1:23:12
I thought it would be
b y making myself known to you.
1:23:16
Telling you who I was
and apologizing.
1:23:22
I had a fantasy
that I could help things.
1:23:25
As if b y doing some number
of good things now...
1:23:28
... it could make up
for one very bad thing then.
1:23:33
But I think that b y telling you
who I am...
1:23:37
... I would only be helping myself.
1:23:42
But I'm too weak to carry this weight.
1:23:45
And I need you to know
how sorry I am.
1:23:51
I'm a murderer and a coward.
1:23:56
And I will always remain
these things.
1:24:12
I read a book once on redemption.
1:24:17
A man said there were five steps
toward making amends.
1:24:23
The first involved
acknowledging what you did.
1:24:27
The second involved remorse.
1:24:30
The third involved making right
with your neighbor.
1:24:33
Only then were you able
to go to step four...
1:24:37
... which was making it right with God.
1:24:41
Only I can't bring Abner Easely back
like he's some stolen chicken.
1:24:46
Certainly made sure
of that 23 years ago.
1:24:51
And I don't believe in some God...
1:24:53
... that's gonna open his arms to me
even if I did.
1:24:57
So there go steps three and four.