My Life Without Me

Mommy, Grandma told us
a beautiful story about a mom

who has lots of bad things happen
to her, and it's really sad.

Goodness, how unusual.
I bathed them
and Penny ate three slices
of banana bread

and Patsy drank some milk.
Lately she's been kind of off it.

Grandma's story's a movie,
Mommy, and she says she likes it a lot.
-Yeah, Joan Crawford.

Joan Crawford, that's great!
Okay, let's go, guys.

Patsy, put that down.
Patsy. We're going.

I just wanted to keep them entertained,
you know, so they don't watch so much TV.

Next time I'll keep my mouth shut.
Mommy, I don't want to go
to school tomorrow.

-I don't want to.
-I know, I know.

I said thanks, okay?
So just drop it.

-I don't need your thanks.
-Okay, so I'll take them back then.

All I did was watch your kids
while you did your shopping.

You asked me to.
Yeah, I asked you to.
I didn't ask you to fill their heads

with stupid stories about mothers
making dumb-ass sacrifices.

What kind of stories
do you want me to tell them?

About murderous step-mothers?

-Is that what you want?

There's times that you're
just like your father,

and let me tell you,
it's not something I like.

You're wrong, there's times
that I'm just like you,

and it's not something I like either.
I'm sorry, it's just really tangled.
Patsy's always whining.
Penny, please don't pick on her.
You always complain
when I brush your hair too.

-Why do you have to do that?
-I wasn't picking on her.

And telling me
that she's always complaining,

that's not picking on her?
I think so.

I wasn't picking on her.
I'm not always complaining.
Okay, that's enough, guys.
Go to bed, okay?
Okay, good night, monkey girl.
You got kitty?