:00:12
Before I start signing these,
:00:14
I need to thank somebody
who's here tonight.
:00:16
When I had her at State--
That didn't sound right.
:00:20
I never had her.
I wanted her, but never had her.
:00:23
What I meant was
when I took her class.
:00:25
I had the worst case
of writer's block in the world.
:00:29
All I had were terrible ideas.
I hated them all.
:00:33
I was just about
to drop the class
:00:35
when she said something to me
that changed everything.
:00:43
She said, "Terrible ideas
are like playground scapegoats.
:00:48
Given the right encouragement,
they grow up to be geniuses."
:00:51
She told me to take one,
and work on it.
:00:55
Well, I did.
:00:59
Frances Mayes,
who loves terrible ideas,
:01:02
may I please French kiss
you now?
:01:05
Go for it, Willie boy!
:01:06
Married, William.
Sorry.
:01:12
Proud of me?
:01:13
Ridiculously.
:01:15
Frances, these are amazing.
What did you do?
:01:18
Chocolate is timing, my friend.
:01:20
- The rest is magic.
- Hey, Professor.
:01:22
- Where is the wine?
- Over there.
:01:25
Tom is one lucky bastard.
:01:27
A literary wife
who makes brownies.
:01:29
I swear, if you tell me
you cook in the nude,
:01:31
I'll go home and kill myself.
:01:33
Never in the nude.
Always in a thong.
:01:35
Actually, if you knew Frances,
you'd know these are avoidance.
:01:39
Thanks.
:01:41
- How's the novel going?
- Not so well.
:01:43
But the procrastination
is coming along fabulously.
:01:46
Soon it will breed
abject self-loathing,
:01:49
and then I'll just become
a writing machine.
:01:52
What about Tom?
How's his book going?
:01:55
Fine.
He's home writing right now.
:01:57
You know Tom?
:01:58
I met him recently,
sort of by coincidence.