Chris Rock: Never Scared

"I'm a conservative, I'm a liberal." It's bullshit.
Be a fucking person. Listen.
Let it swirl around yo head.
Then form yo opinion.
No normal, decent person is one thing, OK?
I got some shit I'm conservative about,
I got some shit I'm liberal about.

Crime, I'm conservative.
Prostitution, I'm liberal.
And they keep trying to scare us.
Everybody's trying to scare us.

Telling us to be on the lookout for al-Qaeda.
Like, "Where?"

I ain't scared of al-Qaeda. I'm from Brooklyn,
I don't give a fuck about al-Qaeda.

Shit. Motherfucking al-Qaeda.
Shit, did al-Qaeda blow up the building
in Oklahoma?

Did al-Qaeda put anthrax in your mail?
Did al-Qaeda drag James Byrd
down the street

till his eyeballs
popped out of his fucking head? No.

I ain't scared of al-Qaeda,
I'm scared of Al Cracker.

Cracker Al. Gotta look out for Cracker Al.
He's a dangerous motherfucker!
But American people, whenever you leave...
I love my country, but whenever you leave,
you find out people really hate America.

It's good sometimes.
Cos we got so much shit, OK?
America's the only country in the world
where people go hunting on a full stomach.

It's beautiful.
That's how good we got it.
America's a great country.

But here's the thing, people hate America cos
we can't make up our mind what we wanna be.