Stage Beauty

What are you doing here?
Thought I'd surprise you.
- Where've you been?
- I was stranded in St James's Park.

A frilly fop with a hard-on
thought I was a whore on the make.

This is why I prefer Hyde Park.
There's so much less of that sort of thing.
So, what happened?
Once he found my cock,
off he went.
It wasn't the case with me.
Let me show you something.
"I come unknown to any of the rest
to tell you news:

I saw the lady drest.
The woman plays today...
The woman plays..." The woman?
What? Hm?
An actress.
A what?
An actress.
At Cockerell's Tavern.
The Cockpit put up a little stage.
Very tatty, but still.
My, my, it's a joke.
- It's a fake. Jimmy Noakes...
- I know Jimmy Noakes.

And it was not Jimmy Noakes.
It was not any man.

It was a girl.
But it's illegal.
One did think as much.
A woman playing a woman.
What's the trick in that?

What was the play?
If you're wondering,
she did not play the Moor.

- How was she?
- What?

Oh, you mean the acting?
I never noticed the acting.

Did you go round after?
Oh, too crowded. Pepys went.
If two mice were fucking in a nutshell,