:08:01
Well, it's just a collection of personal
anecdotes that don't really add up to much.
:08:06
lt's, uh-- l was just tryin' to see if
l could write something that seemed true.
:08:09
Oh, it seems true. lt, uh,
just isn't very interesting.
:08:13
Sort of a--
an emotional outburst, but, uh,
:08:17
it isn't really a story.
:08:21
And that, uh-- the guy, Hank-- you
know, the one who dies at the end? Yeah.
:08:26
You need to prepare a reader
for something like that. Uh--
:08:30
lt just-- lt didn't seem like
the way things happened. Well,
:08:35
you need to let your audience
guess what's gonna happen--
:08:40
you know, anticipate what's gonna
happen-- and then you surprise them.
:08:44
But, um, you have to guide them
through it. You know what l mean? Yeah.
:08:47
There's a part of writing that, uh,
:08:51
involves a certain manipulation.
:08:55
That may seem cold to you, but it is, you know, sort of cold. l
- l guess.
:09:00
Everything in fiction is a tool:
pain, betrayal,
:09:07
even death.
:09:09
These are, you know--
:09:12
These are like, uh, different colors on
a painter's palette. You need to use them.
:09:23
Also, the details--
they could be more specific, you know?
:09:28
Specific details, they--
they create whole scenes in a reader's mind.
:09:36
Not being specific, that's just sloppy.
lt's sloppy thinking.
:09:40
S- Specific details?
Yeah--
:09:43
smells, taste-- details.
:09:49
But l'll tell ya, for a, uh--
:09:52
for a first effort, it's not that bad.
:09:55
You know, the, uh--
Thanks.
:09:57
the prose is a little purple, a little
pretentious. Thanks. Thanks anyway for reading it.