Dear Frankie

Hey, Frankie boy, bet you're dead excited
about seeing your da?

Why don't you just lay down and die?
Ignore him, Frankie.
Bet you didn't even know his boat was coming!
Of course he knew, stupid.
And you don't need to shout.
He can see what you're saying... unfortunately.

I bet you all my trump cards
your da doesn't come.

If he comes, I'll give you the lot.
If he doesnae come,
you have to give me every single one of
your stamps and your knife, to keep for ever.

No, Frankie, don't. Don't do it.
Dear Da, sorry I haven't written for a few days.
Things have been very busy here.
I suppose you've been busy too,
now that you've had to change course
and sail back north.

Ricky Monroe told me.
Trust him to put his big feet right in it.
I've told him hundreds and hundreds of times
you might not even get shore leave.
But he doesn't know about these things
He's not very clever. And he's a liar.

He said you wouldn't want to come
and see us, even if you could.

So, guess what, Da? I've made a bet.
I bet Ricky Monroe you were coming.
Then I said I'd bring you
to the football trials to prove it.

Hey, slowcoach, I'm waiting on those chips.