:15:01
She slept with half the guys
in my office,
:15:04
She's in her early 20s, You know
the epic narrative l talked about?
:15:08
Hers would not only be secret,
it would be incoherent,
:15:11
l wouldn't get past the cover page,
:15:14
l mean, l'm looking
for something more than Sherry,
:15:17
''Hopelessly romantic,
young 50s widower,,,
:15:20
,,,seeks lady friend who enjoys
the slow bloom of affection,
:15:24
Loves dogs, children
and long, meandering bike rides,
:15:28
l will be carrying
a single yellow rose,''
:15:31
-l gotta meet this guy,
-Where are your boob shirts?
:15:34
-My what?
-Your boob shirts,
:15:36
-Don't worry, l brought some of mine,
-Oh, boob shirts,
:15:40
-l can't wear that,
-Okay, l have some dating tips for you,
:15:44
l got them from Sports Illustrated,
Solid gold,
:15:46
Yes, that's always been my bible
for personal relationships,
:15:50
At least listen to the tips,
:15:52
-Your sister has gone to a lot of trouble,
-Okay,
:15:55
''One, maintain eye contact,
:15:58
But be sure it isn't too intense,
You aren't a hawk eyeing its prey,''
:16:02
Good that you told me,
l might have done my hawk thing,
:16:05
''Two, men respond sexually when
they think women are excited by them,''
:16:10
-Really?
-''The more you like what you see,,,
:16:13
,,,the more your pupils
will open wide to take it all in,''
:16:18
Open your pupils,
:16:21
Oh, my God,
:16:23
-l'm dating again, l can't do this!
-lt's okay, Come on,
:16:25
-No, you'll be fine, it's okay,
-lt'll be fun,
:16:28
What if he wants to have sex?
What if l want to?
:16:31
You don't understand, lt's been
a long time, Christine, l could freak out,
:16:35
What if l can't control myself?
:16:37
You're meeting for muffins
in a public place, l think you'll be safe,
:16:56
-Dad?
-Sarah,
:16:58
My darling girl,