A Day at the Races

No, no, doctor.
I mean, where did you get your training
as a physician?

Oh, well, to begin with,
I took four years at Vassar.

- Vassar? But that's a girls' college.
- I found that out the third year.

I'd have been there yet, but I went out
for the swimming team.

The doctor seems reluctant
to discuss his medical experiences.

Well, medically, my experiences
have been most unexciting.

- Except during the flu epidemic.
- And what happened?

I got the flu.
- Oh, doctor, I think it's time for my pill.
- Lx-nay on the ill-pay.

Now, you told me
to take them regularly.

Just a minute, Mrs. Upjohn.
- That looks like a horse pill to me.
- Oh, you've taken them before?

- Are you sure you haven't made a mistake?
- You have nothing to worry about.

The last patient I gave one of those to
won the Kentucky Derby.

May I examine this, please?
Do you actually give those
to your patients?

Isn't that awfully large for a pill?
It was too small for a basketball,
and I didn't know what to do with it.

Say, you're awfully large
for a pill yourself.

Dr. Wilmerding...
...just what is your opinion?
It must take a lot of water
to swallow that.

Nonsense. You can swallow that
with 5 gallons.

Isn't that a lot of water
for a patient to take?

Not if the patient
has a bridge in her mouth.

The water flows under, the patient walks
over and meets the pill on the other side.

So it's war!
I'm off to the battlefield!

No, that's from the racetrack.
- Racetrack? Well, what am I doing here?
- Oh, doctor, don't leave me!

Well, you won it, Stuffy.
Nice work, Stuffy.