A Day at the Races

Oh, no, no, no.
Doctor, please don't go.

- I'll take care of your salary.
- Oh, yeah?

The last job I had,
I had to take it out in trade.

And this is no butcher shop.
Not yet anyhow.
Judy, it seems to me,
if I may say so...

...we are making rather
a hasty decision.

Surely you don't question
the doctor's ability.

No. Not exactly.
But running a sanitarium calls
for a man with peculiar talents.

I've got the most peculiar talents
of any doctor you ever met.

I'm satisfied with Mrs. Upjohn's

If you'll excuse me, I'll go
and bring in the rest of the staff.

Why don't you go out and bring in
something. Preferably your resignation.

Tell me, Dr. Hackenbush...
...just what was your medical

- Medically?
- Yes.

Well, at the age of 15, I got a job
in a drugstore filling prescriptions.

Don't you have to be 21
to fill prescriptions?

Well, that's for grownups.
I just filled them for children.

No, no, doctor.
I mean, where did you get your training
as a physician?

Oh, well, to begin with,
I took four years at Vassar.

- Vassar? But that's a girls' college.
- I found that out the third year.

I'd have been there yet, but I went out
for the swimming team.

The doctor seems reluctant
to discuss his medical experiences.

Well, medically, my experiences
have been most unexciting.

- Except during the flu epidemic.
- And what happened?

I got the flu.
- Oh, doctor, I think it's time for my pill.
- Lx-nay on the ill-pay.

Now, you told me
to take them regularly.

Just a minute, Mrs. Upjohn.
- That looks like a horse pill to me.
- Oh, you've taken them before?

- Are you sure you haven't made a mistake?
- You have nothing to worry about.

The last patient I gave one of those to
won the Kentucky Derby.

May I examine this, please?
Do you actually give those
to your patients?