:14:01
and pushed out the back to make it go,
or some such.
:14:03
There's no wind blowing out of my ideas.
:14:05
- Pretty windy. Have you got car fare?
- Think so.
:14:10
- (Coin drops to floor)
- Yeah.
:14:12
Make a wish.
What falls to the floor comes to the door.
:14:16
- All right.
- There's nothing to laugh about.
:14:18
I mind the time your father,
may his soul be peaceful,
:14:21
dropped a quarter down a crack,
:14:23
and it wasn't an hour till a near-sighted man
gave him a five-dollar gold piece
:14:27
instead of a nickel in paying his fare.
:14:30
- We went to Coney that night.
- What was wrong with Pa's eyes?
:14:33
He was looking somewhere else.
:14:35
There was nothing the matter
with your father.
:14:37
He was a fine-looking conductor.
:14:39
- He was.
- You'd seem a shrimp beside him.
:14:42
- I would.
- Don't say anything against him.
:14:44
I'm not saying anything against him, Mum.
:14:46
Well, watch your step.
:14:49
- Jimmy.
- Yes'm?
:14:52
There's money in your cup.
:15:03
(Bell dinging)
:15:14
So the sucker says, "Is Mr Fish there?"
:15:16
And the guy says, "Which one do you want?
This is the New York Aquarium."
:15:20
(Laughter)
:15:21
The best one is, you say,
"This is the Edison Company.
:15:24
"Would you mind seeing if the street light's
burning in front of your house?"
:15:28
And when the poor mug says, "Yes, it is,"
:15:31
you say, "Well, blow it out, will you?"
:15:33
(Laughter)
:15:34
Hello, is this
the Maxford House Coffee Company?
:15:38
Could you tell me if the jury's reached
a verdict on the contest yet?
:15:42
They haven't? Then there's
still a chance for everybody, huh?
:15:45
Thanks just the same.
:15:50
I wonder what one of those suckers
would do if they ever did win.
:15:53
Well, it's very easy to find out.
:15:56
All you need is a telegraph blank,
some scissors and some glue.