Go West

Blondie, how would you like to buy
a diamond necklace...

that formerly belonged
to the Czarina of Russia?

- How did you get it?
- I used to room with Rasputin.

- $1.
- I'll buy it. Lend me $10.

- Sure, Mr. Panello.
- $10.

$9 change, please.
Let's forget about it.
Madam, why is that baby
constantly crying?

He can't stand the jerks in the coach.
Now wait a minute, boys.
It was nothing personal.

She didn't mean anything by it.
$10 for every ditch you hit.
- I'm so sorry.
- I must get myself straightened around.

- That's it, around.
- Let my bustle go!

- I can fix this bustle myself!
- All right, he's just helping you.

Madam, it's none of my business,
but are you wearing a revolving door?

If you are,
I'd like to go around with you sometime.

Mr. Panello, instead of bargaining with you
for the rights of the land...

I intend to make you a liberal offer,
which I feel you'll instantly accept.

How much you gonna pay us for this land?
$500! We're gonna be rich!
Now, all I need is both your signatures.
On the bottom.
There you are. Thank you.
I'll give you $1,000.
- How dare you, you meddlesome fool!
- I heard that!

If you weren't so small,
I'd flog the daylights out of you.

- But I'm bigger than you.
- That's another reason.

You'll pay us double for this land
than the Railroad?

Yes, and it's a lucky thing for you
I got here in time.

Mr. Panello,
you don't know who he represents.

At least you know my offer is bona fide.
That's right.
How do we know your offer is bona fide?

- Are your hands clean?
- Sure.

Then here's my card.
"Bona Fide Oil Company.
S. Quentin Quale, Pres."

Look. His whole company is bona fide.
In all my long business experience,
I've dealt with every important oil firm...