Doctor in the House
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:05:02
- Hello, Tony. How's the love life?
- Easy come, easy go.

:05:07
Excuse me. Could you tell me
where the students go?

:05:11
Well, certainly not in here.
:05:14
- Where are you looking for?
- Actually, I'm new.

:05:17
- Could you tell me where to go?
- The medical school.

:05:20
- That's right over the other side.
- Could you tell me how to get there?

:05:24
Go past Physiotherapy,
right at Neuropathology,

:05:27
left by Gastroenterology,
till you come to the main hall.

:05:32
- Then it's...
- That's not the quickest way.

:05:35
Go down there by DXR and EEG,
:05:39
then straight on past ECG,
till you get to the almoner's office.

:05:43
No, it's... You're going
in the right direction.

:05:46
Thank you... very much.
:05:51
You took the stitches out too soon!
:05:53
- Funny.
- Let me help you.

:05:55
It is customary for me,
as dean of this hospital,

:06:00
to welcome new students
at the beginning of each year,

:06:04
but thanks to the vigilance
of the examiners

:06:07
in protecting the public against
the medical ministrations of idiots,

:06:12
I see that I am welcoming
many familiar faces, as well.

:06:16
Medical students, gentlemen,
were described by Charles Dickens

:06:20
as "a parcel of lazy, idle fellows
:06:24
"that are always smoking
and drinking and lounging. "

:06:28
That is, unfortunately, still true,
:06:31
and the time has come, gentlemen,
for a change.

:06:34
Mr Evans,
I suggest you devote to your studies

:06:38
some fraction of the energy
you expend on the football field.

:06:42
And Mr Benskin, I would ask you
in future kindly to remember

:06:47
that nurses are here for the comfort
of the patients, not the students.

:06:52
Furthermore, you will be expected to
arrive at every lecture punctually.

:06:56
Last term, it was a disgrace.
:06:59
Students thought they could come in
at any time that suited them...


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