Friendly Persuasion

Little Jess!
What is thee saying, child?

Samantha tried to bite my legs off.
Next time, I'll throw her down the well.
Here, Samantha.
See, Little Jess?
Speak to her kindly.
She'll not bite thee.

She's a pure pet, Samantha is.
She's a snake on stilts!
I'll put her on the chopping block
and chop her head off.

Hush, hush!
Let's have no more talk of killing.
Run upstairs now and fetch thy brother
and sister. We'll be late for Meeting.

Blackberry pie?
Yes, blackberry pie.
No need to stick thy finger in it
to find out. No dilly-dallying!

Go fetch Mattie and Josh.
This afternoon?
All right!
What's thee talking to thyself for?
I'm not talking to myself.
Who's thee talking to then?
I don't see nobody.
Thee knows what happens
to eavesdroppers?

Their ears get long as a hound dog's!
Mama says to hurry.
I am, but I have to finish
my toilet-tee.

What's a toilet-tee?
Thee wouldn't know about it
because thee doesn't wash.

Please leave my boudoir.
"Please leave my boudoir."
Does thee...
Does thee think I'm pretty?