It Happened to Jane

has won for you, will be sent
to Harry Foster Malone as rent...

immediately following the program.
Now then, panel...
I am not gonna ask this lady
to reveal her correct name to us...

because if we knew her name,
we'd know her secret.

So we will simply call her Miss X.
Now, Miss X, if you'll whisper your secret
to me, we'll reveal it to the folks at home.

I must say ordinarily we would not accept
such a secret on our show...

but I've been talking
a lot to this lady backstage...

and I tell you, by golly, I think she's right.
I want that man
barred from my railroad for life.

Now, we'll start the questioning
with Bill Cullen, please.

Ma'am, this male that you're involved with,
is he human?

He certainly is not.
Is it something like a snake
or a baboon or something like that?

I tell you, we've got trouble.
This, newspapers. You can't...

Get this. I'm 52 years old, and I was born
on the Lower East Side in a cold-water flat.

I wasn't lucky enough
to get to college or law school.

I'm a slob that came up the hard way.
But let me give you a chunk of information.

Anybody who gives trouble
to Harry Foster Malone gets trouble.

Got that?
- Have it your way, Harry.
- Yeah, I will.

Now, every time we stop at Cape Anne,
it costs us money. Right?

Yeah. Watch this bit. Look out.
All right, let's go to Henry Morgan, please.
It isn't me, is it?
Yes, Harry?
Miss Beardsley, get me Garry Moore on CBS.
Yeah, right now. Be sure to tell him it's me.
Oh, thank you.
Excuse me, panel, just a moment.