How to Murder Your Wife
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:13:02
At any rate, voilà!
In one dazzling burst of brilliance...

:13:05
...Bash Brannigan has successfully
concluded The Case of the Fabergé Navel.

:13:13
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!
:13:17
I especially care for the ''splunk.''
:13:21
-What is to be our next caper, sir?
-I’ve got it practically all worked out.

:13:25
it’s the story of a man who gets murdered...
:13:28
...while staring at the top of
the Empire State Building.

:13:32
I think I’ll call it The Skyscraper Gaper Caper.
:13:36
Sounds really exciting, sir.
:13:39
But you'll have to shoot most of it
from a helicopter.

:13:41
And it will involve closing off 5th Avenue
from 34th to 59th street.

:13:46
Wouldn't it be great if we could find a way...
:13:48
...to blow up one of those glass office buildings?
:13:51
Tinkle, tinkle.
:13:55
What's the matter? You don't like it?
:13:57
I love it, sir!
:13:58
But I was thinking of Mr. Lampson.
:14:02
Poor Mr. Lampson.
:14:05
Stanley! Can't you stop for just a minute?
:14:07
I’m speaking to you now,
not as a lawyer but as a friend.

:14:10
Stan, you're a grown man,
and grown men simply can't...

:14:14
...repeat, can't go spreading terror in New York
at the height of noon accompanied...

:14:19
-Will you stop just a minute?
-...by naked women!

:14:22
She wasn't naked!
She had a diamond in her navel.

:14:26
All right, and those demented butlers
and criminals with knives.

:14:29
You cannot continue comporting yourself
in the manner of an escaped lunatic!

:14:34
Bash Brannigan, Secret Agent
is syndicated in 463 newspapers.

:14:37
-You know why?
-Sure, I know.

:14:39
Because of hardcore pornography...
:14:42
...softened slightly, ever so slightly,
by excessive violence and sadism!

:14:47
Bash Brannigan is enjoyed by millions
because my readers know it's authentic.

:14:52
I never asked Bash to do anything
I hadn't already done myself.


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