How to Murder Your Wife
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1:37:01
Hear ye, hear ye.
1:37:03
The Court of General Sessions is now in session.
1:37:07
lf it please the Court, may I call--
1:37:09
Your Honor, from this point forward...
1:37:12
...I would like to dispense with counsel
and conduct my own defense.

1:37:15
For my first and only witness...
1:37:17
...I would like to call my friend
and former attorney, Mr. Harold Lampson.

1:37:20
You must be--
1:37:21
Will you approach the bench, gentlemen?
1:37:23
Hey, wait a minute! Stan, you....
1:37:27
Now, let me understand this, Mr. Ford.
1:37:29
You wish to be your own counsel...
1:37:31
...and call him as a witness for the defense?
1:37:33
I do, Your Honor.
1:37:35
I really don't know what to say.
1:37:37
How about, ''This is most irregular,
but he may take the stand''?

1:37:42
Thank you.
1:37:43
This is most irregular, but he may take the stand.
1:37:49
Now, wait a minute, Stan.
1:37:52
This is ridiculous!
1:37:54
You don't even know how to conduct a....
1:37:56
I could have got you off from 20 years to life.
1:37:59
But this way you're gonna wind up
in the electric chair!

1:38:02
Raise your right hand, please.
1:38:06
Do you swear to tell the whole truth
and nothing but, so help you God?

1:38:10
-I do.
-Be seated.

1:38:13
State your full name, please.
1:38:15
-Harold Lampson.
-Are you married, Harold?

1:38:17
You know damn well that I’ve been....
1:38:22
Yes.
1:38:24
-How many years you been married?
-Let's see.

1:38:27
Hal Jr. is 10.
1:38:30
We were living on West 11th Street at the time.
1:38:32
So that would make it in the neighborhood of--
1:38:36
Eleven years, you idiot!
1:38:40
Eleven glorious, wonderful years.
1:38:45
That's right.
1:38:46
Eleven glorious, wonderful years.
1:38:49
Your Honor, I fail to see what--
1:38:51
I’m merely trying to establish
the witness's qualifications.

1:38:54
As what?
1:38:55
As a typical example of a happily married,
American male.

1:38:58
That's what you are, isn't it?
A happily married, American male?


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