How to Steal a Million
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:05:02
Hello, my darling!
:05:04
Hello, Papa.
:05:07
-Careful. l'm covered with paint.
-And with money.

:05:10
l heard all about the auction on the radio.
:05:13
We've got to have a long, serious talk.
:05:16
My dear angel, it was a triumph.
:05:17
l could have sold
a dozen Cézannes on the spot.

:05:20
When is enough more than enough?
This has got to stop.

:05:24
One moment.
:05:29
How kind of van Gogh
to use only his first name.

:05:34
l can sign him in half the time.
:05:37
There. Perfect!
:05:39
Not again, Papa? So soon?
:05:43
This long-lost masterpiece
will not be for sale for a long time.

:05:47
We'll hang it. lt'll be admired. Who knows?
ln time, some legendary tycoon...

:05:51
may be able to persuade me
to part with it.

:05:53
-You're such a scoundrel.
-Thank you, my child.

:05:57
Nicole! My dirt.
:06:01
This is not ordinary dirt.
lt is van Gogh dirt.

:06:03
l mean dirt from his own neighborhood.
:06:06
l scraped it myself
off these old 19th-century canvases.

:06:10
Like this.
:06:13
lt took me weeks.
:06:14
A nice touch of authenticity,
don't you think?

:06:18
l doubt if van Gogh himself would've gone
to such pains with his works.

:06:22
He didn't have to. He was van Gogh.
:06:25
But you know that in his whole lifetime,
he only sold one painting.

:06:29
Whereas l, in loving memory
of his great tragic genius...

:06:33
have already sold two.
:06:35
Papa, l keep telling you...
:06:37
when you sell a fake masterpiece,
that is a crime.

:06:41
l don't sell to the poor.
:06:43
l only sell them to millionaires
and they get great paintings like this one.


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