How to Steal a Million
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:06:01
This is not ordinary dirt.
lt is van Gogh dirt.

:06:03
l mean dirt from his own neighborhood.
:06:06
l scraped it myself
off these old 19th-century canvases.

:06:10
Like this.
:06:13
lt took me weeks.
:06:14
A nice touch of authenticity,
don't you think?

:06:18
l doubt if van Gogh himself would've gone
to such pains with his works.

:06:22
He didn't have to. He was van Gogh.
:06:25
But you know that in his whole lifetime,
he only sold one painting.

:06:29
Whereas l, in loving memory
of his great tragic genius...

:06:33
have already sold two.
:06:35
Papa, l keep telling you...
:06:37
when you sell a fake masterpiece,
that is a crime.

:06:41
l don't sell to the poor.
:06:43
l only sell them to millionaires
and they get great paintings like this one.

:07:10
Papa! Police!
:07:30
What a shock you gave me.
:07:32
lt's the director
of the Kléber-Lafayette Museum.

:07:34
Come about our Cellini Venus.
:07:37
What about the Venus?
:07:39
Our Cellini Venus
is to be the outstanding feature...

:07:42
of a great loan exhibition,
Masterpieces of French Collections.

:07:46
Not in public, Papa!
:07:49
-Yes. Come along.
-No!

:07:55
Wait a minute.
You can't let it out of the house.

:07:59
Don't fuss.

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