The Odd Couple
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:32:00
If you don't relax,
I'll break my fingers.

:32:02
Look at this...
:32:04
The only man in the world
with clenched hair.

:32:07
Bend over.
Just bend over. Attaboy.

:32:10
OK, now,
hold still.

:32:12
If this hurts,
Felix, tell me,

:32:14
'cause I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.

:32:17
[Groaning]
:32:25
[Wheezing]
:32:33
What's that noise?
:32:34
[Wheezing]
:32:36
I can't breathe.
It must be the dust.

:32:38
Open the window.
Get some fresh air.

:32:40
Wait. We're not opening
any windows on the 11th floor.

:32:44
We'll go downstairs
for a walk.

:32:46
[Wheezing]
:32:49
I wish I were like you,
Oscar...strong.

:32:51
But I'm weak,
:32:53
and I admit it...
I'm weak, weak.

:32:55
You'll outlive today's
entire generation.

:32:57
You want a lick?
:32:59
You don't understand.
:33:00
I'm nothing without
my wife and kids.

:33:02
You don't...
I'm nothing!

:33:03
You're not nothing.
You're something.

:33:05
You're a person.
:33:07
You're flesh and blood and bones
and hair and nails and ears.

:33:10
You're not a fish.
You're not a buffalo.

:33:12
You're you.
:33:13
You walk and talk
and cry and complain

:33:15
and eat
little green pills

:33:17
and send
suicide telegrams.

:33:18
No one else does that,
Felix, no one.

:33:20
You're the only one
of its kind in the world.

:33:24
You've stained me.
:33:26
Chocolate ice cream stains.
That's a stain.

:33:29
Ice cream
doesn't stain.

:33:31
Oh, vanilla and coffee
don't stain.

:33:33
Chocolate does.
That's a stain.

:33:36
Felix, leave that alone.
You'll get a water stain.

:33:40
That won't come out.
:33:41
That's
a permanent stain.

:33:42
You ready
to order now?

:33:44
Oh, hi!
:33:45
Hey, there's
my little pussycat.

:33:47
Come over here,
darling.

:33:48
For a tip, I'll leave
my apartment key.

:33:50
Is it informal,
or can I bring my husband?

:33:53
Never mind. I can't
wait that long.

:33:55
How about five quick minutes
behind the cash register?

:33:57
Aah! Ha ha ha!
:33:59
If you bite,
I can't write.


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