:37:00
It takes two to make
a rotten marriage.
:37:03
You don't know
what I was like at home.
:37:07
I'm a compulsive cleaner...
:37:09
always cleaning up
after Frances.
:37:11
Then I'd go into the kitchen
and recook her meals
:37:15
because I'm also
a much better cook than she is.
:37:20
I cooked myself
right out of a marriage.
:37:23
Stupid damned idiot!
:37:25
Hey, Felix,
don't do that.
:37:27
You'll get
a headache.
:37:28
I can't stand it anymore.
It's just...
:37:36
I hate me.
:37:38
Oh, boy,
do I hate me.
:37:40
You don't hate you.
You love you.
:37:43
You think no one else
has problems like you.
:37:45
I thought
you were my friend.
:37:47
I am. That's why I can
talk to you this way...
:37:49
Because I love you
almost as much as you do.
:37:51
Then why
don't you help?
:37:53
How can I help you
when I can't even help myself?
:37:55
You think you're impossible
to live with?
:37:57
Ha ha! Blanche
used to say to me,
:37:59
"What time
do you want dinner?"
:38:01
I'd say, "I don't know.
I'm not hungry."
:38:03
Then 3 A.M., I'd wake her up,
and I'd say, "Now."
:38:06
I've been one of
the highest-paid sportswriters
:38:09
for the past
14 years.
:38:10
We saved $8.50
in pennies.
:38:12
I'm never home.
I gamble.
:38:14
I burn cigar holes
in furniture,
:38:16
drink like a fish,
lie to her.
:38:18
Then for our 10th
wedding anniversary, I took her
:38:21
to the New York Rangers/
Detroit Red Wings hockey game,
:38:23
where she got hit
by a puck.
:38:28
I still can't figure out
why she left me.
:38:30
That's how
impossible I am.
:38:32
Come on. Let's get
out of here.
:38:34
The muggers
will be here soon.
:38:36
I don't think I can take
living alone, Oscar.
:38:42
In two weeks,
I'll go to pieces.
:38:44
How will I work?
How will I make a living?
:38:47
You'll go on
street corners and cry.
:38:49
They'll throw
nickels at you.
:38:51
Tonight you'll
sleep here.
:38:52
Tomorrow you get
your clothes
:38:53
and your
electric toothbrush,
:38:55
and you move
in here with me.
:38:56
It's your apartment.
I'll just be in the way.
:38:58
There's eight rooms.
:38:59
We could go for a year
without seeing each other.