The Odd Couple
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:56:00
Why take a pill
when you can take a girl?

:56:02
Because I'd feel guilty.
I'm sorry, but that's why.

:56:05
If it doesn't make sense to you,
:56:06
it's the way I feel.
:56:07
Go ahead and shoot.
:56:16
Anyway, who would I call?
:56:17
I don't even know
any single girls.

:56:19
Leave that to me.
:56:20
Two sisters live in our building...
English girls.

:56:22
One's a widow,
the other one's a divorcee.

:56:24
They're a barrel of laughs.
:56:26
How do you know?
:56:27
I was trapped in the elevator
with them last week.

:56:29
Please, Felix.
Please just say yes.

:56:30
I can call them now.
Please say yes for my sake.

:56:33
If it means that much to you...
:56:34
Atta baby. That's the Felix
I've been waiting for.

:56:37
Wait. What do they look like?
:56:38
Don't worry. Yours is very pretty.
:56:45
Excuse me.
:56:47
We're all set.
7:30 tomorrow night.

:56:48
Which one do I get?
:56:50
The divorcee.
:56:51
Why do I get the divorcee?
:56:52
I don't care.
You want the widow?

:56:54
I don't want the widow.
I don't even want the divorcee.

:56:56
I'm just doing this
for you.

:56:57
Take whoever you want.
:56:59
When they walk in,
point to the sister of your choice.

:57:01
I just want some laughs.
:57:02
What are they... old...
I mean, how? 30, 35, older?

:57:04
What's the matter with you?
:57:06
They're young.
They're young kids.

:57:07
Where did you say you met them?
Did they want to meet me?

:57:10
Don't forget and suddenly
call one of them Frances!

:57:13
It's Gwendolyn and Cecily!
:57:14
No Frances!
:57:16
Gwendolyn and Cecily!
:57:22
"Rule, Britannia,
Britannia, rule the waves"

:57:26
Supposing my kids see me?
:57:29
I'm going to night clubs
with foreign girls.

:57:31
I've got two American
kids to support.

:57:39
Where are we going to have dinner?
:57:40
What?
:57:41
Where are we going to have dinner?
:57:43
Anywhe...Anywhe...
:57:44
Anywhere you say.
Chinese, Italian...

:57:46
You mean a restaurant?
It will cost a fortune.

:57:48
We'll cut down on laundry.
:57:49
We don't wear socks on Thursdays.
:57:50
We can't afford restaurants.
We'll eat here.

:57:52
Here?
:57:53
I'll cook. We'll save $30, $40.
:57:55
What kind of a double date is that?
:57:57
Well, you'll be
in the kitchen all night!

:57:59
No, I won't. I'd put it up
in the afternoon.


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