1:22:00
Good afternoon, and welcome
to Brantley Park...
1:22:03
just as the competitors are
running out onto the field...
1:22:06
on this lovely winter afternoon
with the going firm under foot...
1:22:09
and very little sign of rain.
1:22:11
Looks like we're in for
a splendid afternoon sport...
1:22:14
on this, the 127th
"Upper Class Twit of the Year" show.
1:22:18
There's a big crowd here today
to see these prize idiots in action.
1:22:22
Vivian Smith Smythe Smith.
1:22:23
He's in the Grenadier Guards,
and can count to four.
1:22:26
Simon Zinc Trumpet Harris.
1:22:27
He's an old Italian and married
to an attractive table lamp.
1:22:30
Nigel lncubator Jones.
His best friend is a tree...
1:22:33
and in his spare time
he s a stockbroker.
1:22:36
Javais Brookhamster.
He's in the wine trade...
1:22:38
and his father uses him
as a wastepaper basket.
1:22:41
And finally, Oliver Singen Mollusk,
another old ltalian.
1:22:44
His father was a cabinet minister
and his mother won the derby.
1:22:47
He's thought by many to be
this year's outstanding twit.
1:22:50
And now the twits are moving
up to the starting line...
1:22:53
and any moment now they'll be
under starter's orders.
1:22:56
lm afraid they're facing
the wrong way at the moment...
1:22:58
the wrong way at the moment,
but the starter will sort this out.
1:23:00
Any moment now they're going to have the
big off. This is always a tense moment.
1:23:05
And they're off!
1:23:07
No, they're not. They didn't realize
that they had to start with the gun.
1:23:11
l think the starter has explained to
them. Several are beginning to point.
1:23:14
And ready again,
and off again!
1:23:17
This time, yes,
a really fast start!
1:23:19
lt's Vivian going for the lead
Oliver's running wide to the right!
1:23:22
And to the left but,
he'll soon pick up the line...
1:23:25
into the first event which is,
walking along a straight line.
1:23:28
The twits have to walk along these lines
without falling over.
1:23:31
This is Oliver's worst event.
He's having a little trouble.
1:23:33
Simon's coming through.
Nigel's coming through.
1:23:36
Oliver's over at the back. Never mind.
He'll get up. He's a great fighter.
1:23:40
He's having...
Oh dear, never mind.
1:23:42
We're coming to the second event,
the matchbox jump.
1:23:45
Two layers of matchboxes for the twits
to clear. Nigel and Simon are over!
1:23:48
And Vivian has refused.
1:23:51
And now,
it's "Kicking the Beggar".
1:23:53
And Nigel to put the brogue in there!
Oh, beautifully placed!
1:23:57
The beggar is down,
and the crowd really loved it!