:26:00
You didn't speak to him for a whole year?
What about on stage?
:26:03
If he played a gypsy,
I would speak to the gypsy.
:26:06
If he played a lunatic,
I would speak to the lunatic.
:26:08
But that bastard, I didn't speak to.
:26:11
You're not supposed to eat pickles.
It's high sodium.
:26:13
I'll spit out the sodium.
:26:18
Thank you.
:26:20
Just tell me what's wrong with Al Lewis.
He seemed nice enough when I met him.
:26:23
- Did you ever meet him?
- I just said I did.
:26:26
I was 13 years old.
It was backstage at some benefit.
:26:30
I forget the theater.
He was very sweet to me.
:26:32
Maybe he thought you were a midget.
He loved them...
:26:34
- but people, he hated. Especially partners.
- Just the shoes, not the socks, please.
:26:39
Why? What did he do
that bothered you so much?
:26:42
What did he do?
He used to give me the finger.
:26:44
- The what?
- The finger!
:26:46
He would poke me in the chest
with the finger.
:26:48
I'm telling you, Doctor.
You know what I mean, Doctor?
:26:51
You hear what I'm saying, Doctor?
:26:53
That hurts, doesn't it? 43 years.
How would you like that?
:26:56
I had a black-and-blue hole in my chest.
:26:59
Till her dying day, my wife
thought it was a tattoo over there.
:27:02
If you work with him,
I'll buy you a padded undershirt.
:27:05
You think I didn't try?
Once I put a steel plate under my shirt.
:27:08
He gave me the finger,
he had it in a splint for a month.
:27:12
Willy, what if I set up a meeting
between you two, maybe lunch at Sardi's.
:27:15
To talk things out?
I'll be there all the time.
:27:18
Want to hear other things?
He used to spit in my face.
:27:20
- On stage, the man would spit in my face.
- Not on purpose.
:27:24
He tells me not on purpose.
:27:25
If I could have saved the spit,
I'd show you.
:27:27
He would stand there
and spit in your face?
:27:29
You think he's stupid?
He'd work it into the act.
:27:31
He would stand
with his nose under my nose...
:27:34
and he would purposely say words
only that began with a "T."
:27:37
Tootsie roll. Tinkertoy.
:27:40
- Typing on the typewriter.
- Would you please sign in your guest, sir?
:27:43
He's not my guest. He's my nephew.
Some nights I thought I would drown.
:27:47
I don't know where he got it all from.
:27:48
I think he would drink all day
and save it up for the night.
:27:51
Don't put this near the steam.
It's corned beef.
:27:53
What if I put it into the contract...
:27:55
if he pokes you or spits at you,
he doesn't get paid?
:27:57
He doesn't care.
He would spit at me for free.