Annie Hall

There's an old joke.
Two elderly women are
at a Catskill mountain resort.

One says, "The food at this place
is really terrible."

The other says,
"l know, and such small portions."

That's essentially
how l feel about life:

full of loneliness, misery,
suffering and unhappiness...

and it's all over
much too quickly.

The other important joke for me...
is one usually attributed
to Groucho Marx...

but it appears originally in Freud's
Wit and lts Relation to the Unconscious.

lt goes like this, l'm paraphrasing:
l never want to belong to any club that
would have someone like me for a member.

That's the key joke of my adult life
in terms of my relationships with women.

Lately the strangest things
have been going through my mind...

because l turned 40, and l guess
l'm going through a life crisis.

l'm not worried about aging.
l'm not one of those characters.

But l'm balding slightly on top. That's
about the worst you can say about me.

l think l'm going to get better
as l get older.

l think l'm going to be
the balding, virile type...

as opposed to the distinguished gray.
Unless l'm neither of those two.
Unless l'm one of those guys with saliva
dribbling out of his mouth...

who wanders into a cafeteria with a
shopping bag, screaming about socialism.