House Calls
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:22:00
That’s very, very provoking.
:22:02
Thank you, Mrs. Atkinson,
Dr. Nichols, Mr. Quinn.

:22:06
Next week,
our program will be

:22:08
Transvestism: Aberration
or Alternate Lifestyle?

:22:13
I didn’t ask
to be born in England.

:22:15
Just as you didn’t ask
to be born in America.

:22:18
What’s left is spiritualism,
or reincarnation, or suttee.

:22:22
What about Indian suttee,
perhaps we could go to India?

:22:25
Your producer friend
was right.

:22:26
You do have a big mouth.
:22:28
Oh, we were just saying
:22:29
you defended
yourself brilliantly.

:22:30
I couldn’t get
a word in edgewise.

:22:32
But when you did,
they were masterful.

:22:34
I wouldn’t go
to masterful.

:22:35
We would, right?
:22:36
Yes, we’ll get
an enormous response.

:22:38
I need more
practice at this.

:22:39
What I need is
a cup of coffee.

:22:41
I’ll buy.
:22:42
Thank you.
:22:46
I’m sorry. I can’t
remember your first name.

:22:49
Ann.
:22:50
I’ve always
liked that name.

:22:51
Thank you, Doctor.
:22:52
Mine’s Charley. Really?
I’ve always liked that name.

:22:55
You’re kidding.
No, it was my mother’s.

:22:58
It’s my own fault.
:22:59
If I hadn’t been
so conscientious,

:23:01
you wouldn’t be
talking now.

:23:03
What do you do when you’re not
humiliating people on TV?

:23:06
Cheesecake.
:23:07
You pose in the nude?
:23:08
That’s not a bad idea.
:23:10
It would certainly
pay better.

:23:11
No, I bake the best cheesecake
in Greater Los Angeles.

:23:15
You’re kidding.
:23:16
I am not. I not only
bake it, I sell it.

:23:17
To whom?
:23:19
Oh, parties, restaurants,
strangers in the street.

:23:21
That’s how I got
my jaw fractured.

:23:23
By strangers?
:23:24
By cheesecake. I was cooking
and the oven door burst open.

:23:27
You’re kidding.
:23:29
That’s the fourth time
you’ve said that.

:23:31
Said what?
“You’re kidding.”

:23:33
What?
:23:34
“You’re kidding.”
:23:35
Do I say that a lot?
:23:37
I guess, I prefer it
to the phrase,

:23:40
what do they use today, uh,
“You’re putting me on.”

:23:46
How long have you
been divorced?

:23:48
Oh, about a year. You?
:23:50
My wife died
a few months ago.

:23:51
Oh, I’m sorry.
:23:52
Why’d your marriage
break up?

:23:53
Why do you
want to know?

:23:54
Prurient curiosity.
:23:56
Real curiosity.
:23:57
He found a younger woman,
didn’t he?

:23:59
Two coffees, please.

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