:54:00
Well, why don't you say the letter K
instead of the letter C?
:54:05
Well, you mean, pronounce "blassified"
with a K?
:54:09
Yes, absolutely!
:54:11
Klassified!
:54:13
Good!
:54:14
Oh, it's very good! I never thought of
that before. What a silly bunt.
:54:22
Now then, uhm, about the holiday...
:54:24
Yes, well, I've been on package tours many times
before, so your advert really baught my eye.
:54:29
Good, good, jolly good, well,
let me offer you this...
:54:30
Why-why, what's the point of going abroad,
if your just going to be treated like a sheep?
:54:33
Carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty
mindless oaves from Kettering and Boventry.
:54:37
Absolutely.
:54:38
Their bloth baps and their bardigans and their
transistor radios, bomplaining about the tea:
:54:42
"Oh, they don't make it properly, do they?"
And stopping at endless Majorcan bodegas
:54:46
selling fish and chips and
Watney's Red Barrel and
:54:47
calamaries and two veg. And sitting in their
cotton sun frocks, squirting Timothy Whites
:54:52
sun cream all over their puffy, raw, swollen,
purulent flesh, 'cos they overdid it on the first day.
:54:57
Yes, I know just what you mean!
Now, what we offer is...
:54:58
And being herded into endless
Hotel Miramars and Bellevueses,
:55:02
Bontinentals with their international
luxury modern roomettes...
:55:05
...and swimming pools full of draught
Red Barrel and fat German businessmen
:55:08
pretending to be acrobats and forming
pyramids and frightening the children and...
:55:12
...barging into the queues.
And if you're not at your table...
:55:14
...spot on seven you miss your bowl
of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup,
:55:17
the first item in the menu of
International Cuisine.
:55:20
Absolutely. Now what we have here is...
:55:21
Every Thursday night there's bloody
cabaret in the bar featuring some tiny,
:55:24
emaciated dago with nine-inch hips
and some fat bloated tart with her hair
:55:28
Brylcremed down and big arse
presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
:55:32
Will you be quiet, please?
:55:33
And adenoidal typists from Birmingham
with flabby white legs...
:55:36
Will you be quiet?
:55:37
...and diarrhea trying to pick up hairy,
bandy-legged, wop waiters called Manuel.
:55:39
Be-be quiet!
:55:40
And once a week there's an excursion
to local Roman remains,
:55:44
where you can buy cherryade and melted ice cream...
:55:45
Will you be quiet?
:55:45
...and bleedin' Watney's Red Barrel.
:55:47
Shut up!
:55:48
And one night they take you to a typical
restaurant with local...
:55:49
Shut up!
:55:50
...atmosphere and color and you sit next to a...
:55:52
Shut up!
:55:52
...party of people from Rhyl who keep singing
"I love the Costa Brava!"
:55:55
Shut up!
:55:56
"I love the Costa Brava!" And you get
cornered by some drunken greengrocer