:07:00
I'll bet you'll never guess
what I got you for Christmas.
:07:05
A new furnace.
:07:08
That's a good one, Dad.
:07:11
My old man was one
of the most feared furnace-fighters...
:07:14
in northern Indiana.
:07:16
Hurry up,
you're going to be late for school.
:07:19
Yeah. I'm running late already.
:07:22
Round one was over.
:07:24
Parents, one.
:07:26
Kids, zip.
:07:28
I could feel the Christmas noose
beginning to tighten.
:07:31
Maybe what happened next
was inevitable.
:07:34
Ralphie, what would you like
for Christmas?
:07:37
Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.
:07:39
I want an official Red Ryder carbine action
200-shot range model air rifle.
:07:45
No. Shoot your eye out.
:07:47
Oh, no! It was
the classic mother-BB gun block.
:07:51
"You'll shoot your eye out."
:07:53
That deadly phrase uttered
many times before by hundreds...
:07:56
of mothers was not surmountable...
:07:59
by any means known to kid-dom.
:08:01
But such was my mania,
my desire for a Red Ryder carbine...
:08:05
that I immediately began
to rebuild the dike.
:08:09
I was just kidding.
Even though Flick is getting one.
:08:13
I'd just like some Tinkertoys.
:08:14
I couldn't believe my own ears.
Tinkertoys?
:08:17
She'd never buy it.
:08:19
BB guns are dangerous.
:08:21
I don't want anyone shooting his eye out.
:08:28
Randy, will you eat?
There are starving people in China.
:08:41
Mothers know nothing
about creeping marauders...
:08:44
burrowing through the snow
toward the kitchen...
:08:46
where only you, and you alone,
stand between your tiny...
:08:50
huddled family and insensate evil.