:59:01
Zelig has no recollection,
but admits...
:59:03
it could have happened
during one of his spells.
:59:07
It's the signal
for the floodgates to open.
:59:10
He married me
at the First Church of Harlem.
:59:13
He told me he was the brother
of Duke Ellington.
:59:16
He was the guy
who smashed my car up.
:59:20
It was brand-new.
:59:22
Then he backed up
over my mother's wrist.
:59:25
She's elderly
and uses her wrist a lot.
:59:30
He painted my house
a disgusting color.
:59:33
He said he was a painter.
:59:35
I couldn't believe the results.
:59:38
Then he disappeared.
:59:41
That Zelig
could be responsible...
:59:43
for the behavior of
each personality he assumed...
:59:46
means dozens of lawsuits.
:59:48
He is sued
for bigamy, adultery...
:59:51
automobile accidents,
plagiarism, household damages...
:59:54
negligence, property damages...
:59:56
and performing unnecessary
dental extractions.
1:00:00
I would like to apologize
to everyone.
1:00:03
I'm awfully sorry
for marrying all those women.
1:00:06
It just--I don't know.
1:00:08
It just seemed
like the thing to do.
1:00:11
To the gentleman
whose appendix I took out...
1:00:14
I don't know what to say.
1:00:17
If it's any consolation...
1:00:19
I may still have it
somewhere around the house.
1:00:21
My deepest apology goes to
the Trokman family in Detroit.
1:00:26
I never delivered
a baby before in my life...
1:00:29
and I just thought that
ice tongs was the way to do it.
1:00:35
Thriving mercilessly on
loopholes and technicalities...
1:00:38
the American legal profession
has a field day.
1:00:42
Zelig is branded a criminal.
1:00:44
Despite Dr. Fletcher's
insistence that he cannot be...
1:00:47
held responsible for actions
while in his chameleon state...
1:00:51
it is no use.
1:00:52
Leonard Zelig sets
a bad moral influence.
1:00:56
America is a moral country.
1:00:59
It's a God-fearing country.