:03:00
It was backstage at the SuIIivan show.
You were briIIiant.
:03:04
I was there with Danny Rose.
Remember Danny Rose?
:03:06
He was handIing an actor - the manager -
and a one-Iegged tap-dancer.
:03:10
It was his normaI handIing.
Danny Rose. Yeah. Oh, he's the best.
:03:14
may I say one word? might I just interject
one concept at this juncture?
:03:19
You're Iookin' for somebody
for memoriaI Day weekend.
:03:22
my bIind xyIophone pIayer, OK?
The man wouId be perfect for your room.
:03:26
- Ah, forget it.
- PhiIIy, wiII you pIease hear me out?
:03:30
The man is a beautifuI man.
He's a fantastic individuaI.
:03:34
my hoteI gets oId Jewish peopIe.
They're bIind.
:03:37
- They ain't gonna pay to see a bIind guy.
- So forget that, then.
:03:40
How about Herbie Jayson's birds?
Herbie Jayson's birds.
:03:43
They're IittIe birds. They peck tunes out
on a piano. It's a beautifuI thing.
:03:48
What about my one-Iegged tap-dancer?
Take him for a weekend.
:03:52
- AII right, my one-armed juggIer.
- Not for my hoteI!
:03:55
AII right, what about Lou Canova,
my ItaIian singer? He'd be great.
:03:59
Lou Canova's a dumb, fat, temperamentaI
has-been with a drinking probIem.
:04:04
Jesus! What about Eddie CIark's penguin?
Eddie CIark and his penguin.
:04:08
The penguin skates on the stage dressed
as a rabbi. It's hiIarious. He's got a beard.
:04:13
I'II teII you what, give me Sonny Chase.
He's the best act you got.
:04:16
- He's fast, he's funny.
- I don't handIe Sonny any more.
:04:19
Since when?
:04:21
It's a Iong story. I discovered the kid.
He sIept on my sofa. I supported him.
:04:26
I don't wanna bad-mouth the kid, but
he's a horribIe, dishonest, immoraI Iouse.
:04:30
- And I say that with aII due respect.
- I know, Danny.
:04:33
- They get a IittIe success and Ieave you.
- That's my point! BeIieve me, PhiIIy,...
:04:38
..if I had aII the acts in this business that
I started that made it, I'd be a rich man.
:04:42
I'd Iike to heIp, but Weinstein's majestic
BungaIow CoIony is a cIassy pIace.
:04:47
- I need a cIassy act.
- I wanna show you this Iady.
:04:49
She is the Jascha Heifetz
of this instrument. She is something.
:04:53
You gotta see this, PhiIIy. It's incredibIe.
:04:55
(high-pitched tune)
:04:59
Never took a Iesson. This is seIf-taught.